Whether it is about themselves, their careers, how good they are in bed, or how they are as partners, men love to be praised. © You can use the buttons below –. Feeling “grounded” in your own body is necessary in order to be present to another. Think about ways to improve your relationship, fun things to do or chores that will help ease their burden. Can you be curious about your own as well? Value that moment. I have never read articles on these topics as well articulated as yours, and I have read lots of them! Thanks I learnt a lot. Being present in your relationship is crucial to its success as it allows you to actually be in the moment with your partner. Each person has to want it and be willing to sacrifice for the other. (Note – Discernment, aka judgement, is often necessary and appropriate, but it’s also worth putting it aside for a time in order to be present in a more simple and direct way.). A spirit of curiosity? In what sort of spirit do you typically present yourself to your partner? So instead of trying to chase time and building a really secure future, invest some of that energy in the present. This article is epic. Where does your body tense up? Allow yourself to trust. In order to do that you have to be fully present. Receptivity? Do both of yourselves a favor and just talk to him. These cues either agitate or calm their own physiological systems. Remember to communicate with him through the good times and the bad times as well. Take the negative, funny things and turn them into positive experiences. If you notice yourself becoming agitated, falling into reaction or judgement, or otherwise losing your quality of presence, bring your attention back to the sensations of your breath rising and falling. It took me far longer to figure that out. The article sparked an avalanche of e-mails and comments from women who were feeling panicked over the state of their relationship. It takes shifting the way we view ourselves and giving up something, in order to give to someone else. And everything is fine! Forget it. How can you love if you are not there?" Sometimes it turns a failing relationship around. A man will want someone who can deal with the situation in a mature way. -- Thich Nhat Hanh. A third definition of presence deepens the mystery, but also reveals a clue, “a person or thing that exists or is present in a place but is not seen; something (such as a spirit) felt or believed to be present.” Ah! I hope you benefit. And then the devastation starts to creep in…followed by the doubts. According to GoodTherapy.org, feeling insecure can cause you to become clingy or needy, resulting in a chronic push-pull cycle that creates an unhealthy relationship… That is why it is important for you to be reliable and communicative with him. Being present provides you with a level of connection needed to truly embrace and recognize your love for another, and to also help remind you of the reasons in which you love this individual. This means not acting like a child when things get too hard. Accepting your partner with his/her … Let all your senses be open to this person. If the criticism seems particularly unkind or unfair, our defences will likely kick in. Come from a place of awareness rather than a place of "away-ness.". Dr. John Lydon from McGill University discussed a study in which people were shown pictures of women and men of the opposite sex. I wasn’t thinking about commitment. I provide couples therapy, marriage counselling, coaching and mentoring to individuals and couples on the issues that make or break relationships – Sessions by telephone/skype worldwide. In the end, focus on the things that matters most to each of you. But it’s even more important — for longevity — to discuss what matters most to you personally and as a couple. Addressing our partner’s criticism may be necessary, but first take a few moments to hear what your partner is really saying. This is exactly the problem Eric and I have been addressing at length, not only on the site, but also in the newsletter and on our Facebook accounts. Something that a man will really want in a relationship is for you to be his safe space. He wants to be emotionally close to you as well. Men are like plants .. feed us give us attention and give us some s*x.. all that other stuff is for the younger guys who cry about everything. Men especially like being able to laugh and while they can laugh and joke around with their friends, they probably want to be able to laugh with you too. Whether he is really strong or witty, let him know that he is special. Men have feelings to0, and as his significant other, you should be there to support him when he does need it. ©2020 Verizon Media. You have to be right with yourself before you can truthfully expect to commit to someone else. This Are The Facts. These men need respect in their love lives and the respect that you show him will also show your love for him as well. Filed Under: Dating Tagged With: guilt, housework, lips, opinions, This is a really good article! Most men will not have any patience for that at all. It’s worth noting that the kind of presence we are talking about here can be a crucial factor for feelings of sexual connection. Think about it. Even if you’re in conversation, practice listening deeply when it’s your time to listen. To be emotionally mature in your relationship, remember to always communicate with your partner and to be respectful of their feelings. Do not just make plans for the two of you all the time without letting him know. It also doesn’t mean being an emotional punching bag or doormat. With self-exposure comes great connection. The last thing that you want to happen is to give up on the intimate bond in your relationship. This can apply to anything from making the effort to spend time together to sharing the housework if you live together. This requires discipline, but then again, so does committing to a relationship. 3. I’m mean really ….. A few years ago I wrote an article titled “Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know.” At the heart of this little article is one big idea… Presence matters. The relationship of person A to person B means those connections from the one-way point of view of person A. If you can apply all of these to your relationship, then you can guarantee your relationship will be a healthy one and your man will appreciate your effort. I have learned so much from it. Whether it’s a weekend getaway, spending a day at the local museum, or having a picnic at the park, take time to embrace your love and commitment to one another. Men love to be appreciated and recognized for the things they do whether they are large or small, and it is always best when the praise comes from a significant other. Your email address will not be published. To engage with him physically is to also engage with him romantically. When you get stressed and anxious, you’re no longer interacting with the person sitting in front of … Presence has a strong physiological aspect as well as mental, emotional, and psychological. The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it. Get Love Tips Sent Straight To Your Mailbox. It may seem innocent, like you’re just excited about the possibilities, but when your mind starts to go into overdrive and you begin to overly invest in this fantasy future, you heighten the stakes and the dynamic of the relationship suddenly shifts. Marriage is the covenant meant to last a lifetime. And I’m still unapologetic! Do something kind. -- between them. So, what about you? Worried about whether you should spend $1000 on that trip to Florida? Do not act immediately on your emotions. When you’re struggling emotionally with anxiety, worry or a feeling of inadequacy, there’s nothing you need more than someone to just listen to you. While you should be willing to do things for him, you should also maintain your self-respect. My wife loves women’s fashion and home interior design. She tends to keep them in. Remember that an emotionally mature relationship is a healthy one to have. There’s a time and place for everything not over stepping boundries and be truthful in a relationship with a potential partner in life. If I don’t hear from him by X day at Y time, then I am allowed to be upset about this,” and then just take it out of your mind. If you can do these things, then you can have a happy, fulfilled relationship with your guy. When you get further into a relationship, it can be easy to feel like the flame has gone out. Men love confidence and when you can let things roll off your back. Not only does being present impact the longevity of your relationship, but it influences your happiness as well. So how do you keep an attraction strong if there is one?