Communications @SmallGrpNetwork. Break-ups are never easy. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. (Acts 15:36-41). The truth of the matter is this: leaving a small group is tricky. – Jesus, Matthew 18:15, (the principle application is when your brother has sinned against you, but whether he has sinned against you or not, difficult and sensitive conversations like this are best handled in person). It’s going to be a hard conversation, but it’ll only get more difficult with time. “If you know every detail about your friend’s life but they don’t even remember your child’s name, that is a sign the friend is taking advantage of you. The leader of the group starts each group meeting by declaring, “Please Your email address will not be published. Again, I would want to say Goodbye to the small group, thank them, pray one last time with them and wish everyone well. Then encourage your group leader by helping them see how God used them. Forti says it might be time to end a relationship if you consistently feel drained or worse off after spending time together. From a secular standpoint, it gives both you and the group a sense of ‘closure’. If you are married, you will definitely want to talk to your spouse about it. You owe it to your group leader, and to the group, to be clear and forthright. 2. image credit: Creation Swap user Boaz Crawford. An email, or a text, or just abandoning your group with no explanation isn’t the way to go. And if you anticipate hurt feelings, you may want to proactively spend time one-on-one with those people you feel will be the most affected by your departure. Don’t wait. in Exercise Science and a M.Ed. Maybe you’re part of a group that revolves around the friendships your kids have, or you’re a member of a running or cycling group that has evolved into friendship beyond exercise. As a group celebrates the things God did they can speak life into the person leaving. There are many reasons for someone exiting a small group. If you’ve been an established member of a small group… The truth of the matter is this: leaving a small group … Don’t abandon community. Before deciding to leave a group of friends, think about ways to fix the friendship circle by confronting them with your concerns or simply reducing the amount of time you spend with them instead of leaving the group completely. – Jesus, Matthew 5:23-24, (the principle here being that if there’s something between you and your brother, there’s something between you and God. Sometimes, this is because they just didn’t find a fit; other times, it’s because they’re moving to another city or town. I would suggest the following. There aren’t many good reasons to quit a small group. On occasion, creating and growing a healthy small group or thriving adult ministry can feel challenging. Knowing when to exit a friend group can be difficult. The decision to quit your small group is a difficult one. Group members are going to exit your group and never come back. No matter what the situation, doing the right things when a group member leaves is important. If you are able to do it in person that’s great though. I’d be spending a lot of time in prayer. Signs it may be time to leave a friend group. We cried. If there was something that bothered you about the group, be honest about it. Coward? Author of 'Starting Small', small groups @Saddleback. Taking ownership of the changes in your life is also important during this process. Sara Lindberg is a freelance writer with over 20 years experience in education, counseling, and fitness. Choose how honest you want to be in front of the whole group. I have faced this decision before, and the people pleaser in me shuddered at the thought of announcing my departure—especially to a group I have grown to love, with women who have encouraged me in my spiritual walk. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. Knowing when to exit a friend group can be difficult. Are you leaving because the small group leader selected materials you’re sure are Biblically unsound? All Rights Reserved. Exchanging details and leaving by saying something like, “I’ll get in contact with you tomorrow about this and that”. Help the group leader know what could be done to improve the group. At their last meeting with the group, celebrate the time spent together by allowing group members to speak words of affirmation to the exiting group members. You probably started in your group with high hopes—you were eager to form strong relationships built on studying the Bible. You can say, “I’ve been praying over this… I don’t think and feel this small group is right for me at this time. – Paul, Ephesians 4:15. “Unfortunately, it might be true in some cases, but when you feel you’re outgrowing a social group, using the busy excuse is probably worse than honestly admitting your time is being spent in alternate pursuits, groups, or activities,” she says. There could be a number of reasons you choose to leave– negative people, indirect bullying, job change/moving, you’re not being fed spiritually, etc… I would not expect someone who’s been low-key being verbally abused to breakup with the group in person… so its not a coward move. Ask them three questions. Degges-White says if a group seems to be stuck in activities that just don’t interest you any longer or, when members of the group seem less interested in your thoughts, suggestions, or conversations, it might be time to leave. I think you were too strong and judgmental in your statement–this is an issue you have to work on. If you know you need to break up with your group, prolonging the inevitable makes things more difficult when the time comes. I didn’t think this day would come. Then, I’d do some more studying, to see if I can strengthen my argument and answer objections. Are You Addicted to Big, Fast, and Famous? Rick has authored or co-authored multiple books, studies, and leader training resources including A Different Kind of Tribe: Embracing the New Small Group Dynamic, Destination Community: Small Group Ministry Manual, The Gospel and the Truth: Living the Message of Jesus, Small Group Life Ministry Manual: A New Approach to Small Groups, Redeeming the Tears: a Journey Through Grief and Loss, Small Group Life: Kingdom, Small Group Kickoff Retreat: Experiential Training for Small Group Leaders, and Great Beginnings: Your First Small Group Study, Disciples Path: A Practical Guide to Disciple Making. Coffee & CrossFit enthusiast. What I would do next depends on how the supervising pastor handles things. Small group leadership should be a joy, not a burden. We all need encouragement, daily. Small Group Leader, if you do these things you’ll help the exiting group members feel honored, gain valuable information to help you in your leadership, give the group closure, and establish being missional as a primary group value. If you’re going to break up with your group, go mano-a-mano. “[Don’t neglect] to meet together, as is the habit of some…” (Hebrews 10:25), Ben, I would also add that if the person leaving the group is going to launch a new group, the group could celebrate the kingdom extension and or do some sort of prayer commissioning. Signs it may be time to leave a friend group. Don’t just leave. “I pastored the wrong people.” There are four kinds of Christians with whom you will come into contact in your small group: 1) your group members, 2) somebody else’s group members, 3) church friends who refuse to join your group and 4) other church’s members who show up at your meetings. Unfortunately, adult friendships don’t always work that way. And when you naturally outgrow these groups, the intensity of the relationships tends to diminish and the parting of ways can happen on good terms. While eating, just relax and enjoy one another’s company. ... Do’s & Don’ts Storage Ideas For Small Spaces New Gmail Filter Hacks. A decision to leave a small group should not be taken lightly. But…well…it’s me, not you. If it’s time to break up, here are some pointers. But I’d agree with anyone who wanted to leave their group if any of the following five things were happening. Be polite. Your group loves you, and you will greatly devalue their love, and their impact on your life, if you just stop showing up and assume that they get it. If you’ve been an established member of a small group…. When you leave a group: Members won't be notified if you leave. The question then is: what happens when this tolerance turns to avoidance? This way there is an empowerment taking place and a sending as opposed to making it a downer when someone leaves. (You might not want to ‘air dirty linen’.) I think honesty is the best policy and you have to pray to God and ask him for direction on what to do. Exiting a small group doesn’t have to, and obviously shouldn’t, be that way. Prepare yourself (and your family) for the fallout, by having plans in place as to how you’ll handle tricky social situations. In your opinion, what could the group do better? – Paul, Hebrews 3:13. If you find yourself avoiding a friend group, canceling plans or frequently making excuses for why you can’t join them, it might be time to bow out. No group will ever be perfect and if you leave a group after the slightest of problems, then you'll never find a group to commit to.