... but receive the validation from a cookie. There’s nothing that could be included in this fortune cookie message that you would believe. Some of them will add you back and ask for your used underpants, Self-Realization: You'll finally be in the first result page when Googling yourself, Family: Your parents will get drunk and admit life was better when you didn't exist, then awkwardly add “just kidding”, Fame: You'll become a reality TV star in Uganda, Spirituality: you'll find your true self in India and realize your true self listens to Celine Dion, Career: Exciting job opportunities if you're willing to swallow 300 grams of cocaine and step on a plane to South-East Asia, Career: An Amazon recruiter will contact you on LinkedIn, asking if you have friends who know how to use Photoshop, Hobbies: Your brain is too old to learn a new language, but your Chinese teacher will keep taking your money. 40 Best Chinese Fortune Cookies’ Quotes & Sayings About Life Updated: January 3, 2020 / Home » Quotes [ Lesson for Life ] Fortune cookies are often served as a dessert in Chinese restaurants in the United States and some other countries, but are absent in China. While these messages are usually far from prophetic, they can sometimes be eerily accurate… or just downright funny! Greenfire Fortune Cookies in a Gift Box - Funny Kid Friendly Messages, SFW [Safe For Work], Traditional Vanilla Individually Wrapped - Kosher (5) 4.8 out of 5 stars 14 100 Pcs Fortune Cookies Fresh Single Wrap(golden Bowl) Especially when it smacks. It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end. Don’t eat any Chinese food today or you’ll be very sick! The fact I am not Chinese and it wasn’t New Year’s Eve seemed completely irrelevant at the time. That particular message has cropped a couple of times since then. Wellness: high school students on the bus will start calling you sir/madam and you’ll research plastic surgery, Hobbies: You’ll be open to try new activities, like swimming with dolphins or necrophilia. You will ignore the Chinese characters that are included with this message and you couldn’t care less about the culture. You will benefit from a change in diet. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You have been eating unhealthy food from Chinese restaurant. Fortune cookies can be made at home for a fun session of cracking them open at the dinner table, with family, friends, or guests. You can include any kind of fun fortune cookie sayings and quotes in the cookies to try out a different idea, besides the usual predictions or words of wisdom. Stop playing the lottery. Everybody loves the crunchy fortune cookie you get at the end of a Chinese meal, and not just because they’re tasty. The next time you eat Chinese and think about skipping the fortune cookie, think again. You feel bloated from eating too much Chinese food, but you will be healed from your discomfort in a few hours. Funny Fortune Cookie Sayings. In your case, Lars Von Trier’s Melancholia, Accomplishments: You'll surprise everyone by not being the alcoholic hobo your high school teachers thought you'd become, Love Life: You'll get married to a pillow in the shape of your favourite Japanese cartoon character, Sex Life: you'll find that porn website you liked and finally remember to bookmark it, Social Life: You'll buy an organizer for 2017 and forget about it before the end of January, ‘cause your life is that uneventful, Spirituality: You'll found your own cult and not even your mom will join it, Art: You'll find a publisher for your first book and then realize it’s a scam operation based in Nigeria, Social Life: You'll add strangers on Facebook. While some are intentionally funny, others may have been typos, bad translations, or just created by a confused fortune printer. 21. These are just a few examples of some funny fortune cookie sayings. It’s extremely simple and – if you don’t suck like me – you may even get it done without second-degree burns all over your body. If you have read this fortune then you have brought upon yourself bad luck. So I thought: what’s the most entertaining and seemingly culinary thing I can make? As per the messages, you can choose to be boring and use some poorly translated Chinese sayings you’ll easily find on Google, or you can come to the dark side and download this file containing mean, hopeless, funny fortune cookie messages ready to print and be read aloud by both your friends and enemies. Everyone has to eventually. A dream you have will come true. These are just a few examples of some funny fortune cookie sayings. Fortune cookies, of course! I found your boyfriend on Craig’s List. Type your search terms above and press return to see the search results. 25. Wellness: You'll be on a diet for some days and then forget about it, Sometimes life really is like the movies. People can’t wait to crack these sweet wontons open so that they can read the fortune inside. If you are at a restaurant and open a fortune cookie and find something so ridiculous or hilarious, please send it our way! Fortune said a palm can say a lot. It could be truly inspirational — or make you laugh harder than you’ve laughed all day. Water is your friend. The next time you eat Chinese and think about skipping the fortune cookie, think again. Only listen to the fortune cookie; disregard all other fortune-telling units. The 14 Funniest Fortune Cookie Fortunes Ever Found, What We’re Loving: Uncommon Goods’ Fortune Cookie Baby Booties. Love Life: you’ll realize it’s time to move on.